Sometimes, Self Love over Selfies

by - 2/16/2015

UuurggGHH!! Selfie! I think it's been quite a while since I randomly took selfies of myself. I have fallen in and out of love with taking selfies several times in the past year. All the running around and trying to get work straight has set me up for a lonely selfie ride. I barely even remember to snap out my phone and take a picture, no matter how long I spent getting my makeup done that day.
It's funny how you go from wanting to take Selfies all the time to literally not even remembering to do so. So what happened Eva? Too busy? Is that really the reason or did you just fall out of Love with yourself?

You know, Infact I think I did!

This might be funny to some and might even come across as total gibberish, but truth is we all go through this phase of falling out of love with self in different ways. It is what keeps us knowing what we deserve, what we should settle for and what we shouldn't. In my case, I completely became some sort of recluse, locked myself away in my small crib of a shell refusing to come out even to hang out with friends or share a drink with someone who cared enough to ask me out.
So what happened?
I was Lost gaddemeeet!
No that isn't quite the best way to put that. I hate to make it sound like I am some kinda mad person with no clue about the world. As a matter of fact maybe I am.
Because how do you go from wanting to care for your nails, your hair, staring yourself in the mirror every chance you get, checking to see that your makeup is perfect every now and again dabbing some powder here and there, writing journals everyday, wanting to go shopping to get yourself something new and pretty, to not even caring what you look like? Literally!
How do you go from enjoying a good time out with friends, picking up a book and indulging your brain, watching a movie without feeling like you are doing yourself a disservice, or even loving what you do entirely, to just going through the days, working your ass off on some project or another. Forming busy? Ok oh

I sincerely do not even know how this began, I just woke up one morning and didn't care about myself enough to care about myself. Isn't that such a sad thing?
I am slowly coming to terms with it and understanding it for what it is. I fell out of Love with Eva.
There was just so much work, so much stress, so much going on externally that I slowly began to refrain from what was going on internally.

Today however I offer myself to myself. To love, to care, to nurture, to respect- If I don't take care of myself, who will?
Selfie, or Self Love? You choose.
I do not care about selfies if I do not Love myself. And when I do Love myself, then I can be happy and share that happiness with someone in a low vibrational state. Isn't that what we are all here for?
To ascend several levels of emotional states each one even more heightened than the next, and then to teach others how to do the same for themselves?

In more posts to come I will share how I am really dealing with this and steps I have taken daily to fall inlove with myself again. But for now, do you like my bathroom selfies?



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3 comments

  1. Eva I feel you, I could relate with the whole falling out of love for oneself, it just happens sometimes and eva I adore the way you articulated your feelings into words,i wanna be a good writer like you please can I get any tip or advice ma *pretty plssss*

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  2. the life i live everyday, these days... I feel like im hovering around life - just floating out of my body. It is easier to hurt one's self that way and it feels like hurt helps validate Life... I know this place i am in isnt where i should be. i know myself deserves better. however, i need something to burst this balloon else, its me and the 'elements' and how they are using me to play kalu-kalu....

    Really nice piece. Im new here :)

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