My head is Bald & my Chi is back! #Before1960

I woke up one hot Lagos morning, NEPA/PHCN arrived work early on this day because evidence of their diligence was roundabout my surroundings and had successfully permeated my present reality.
My house was stuffy and I was feeling a bit squishy-squashy uncomfortable.
I got off my bed and set about my normal morning routine. Not much of a routine on this day however as I dropped each task I was to do without at all doing them long enough to focus completely, let alone finish.
So I didn't go out for my morning jog with Frankie, my alsatian room mate, neither did I make myself breakfast at 8AM as I had promised myself that I would a week prior.
I was also only able to read just a few verses in an early chapter of the Psalms before my wandering undecided state of mind dropped the Holy book in search of something else to focus on.

This was my procrastination phase. Each one us receives this visitor personally in one way or another and I knew this visitor so well cause I had served him before, a dependable and extra caring hostess I had been to him.
I wanted to do something. I knew what it was but I just couldn't get myself to do it.

Here's what I know from real life experience..everytime there is something bothering me so badly to the point where I am literally a walking slobbing mass of flesh on the surface of this beautiful earth then it is only because the better version of me needed attention.

That is as simple as I can put it at this point.

So here I was, standing tall and naked in front of my full length mirror barely appreciating what stared back at me, my life companion whom I had stressed through my journey here. She just stood there behind the glass staring back me and know i didn't quite feel as much love for her as she felt for me.
"So what are we gonna do now Eva?" was what she seemed to be asking me as her warm brown eyes peered through the glass and focused on me.

We are going to play a game I decided. We are going to play combs and scissors, and clippers, and chop off what was left of my hair.  Go bald baby! Do it do it! What kind of a silly game is that?

But it wasn't just a game, it was exercise. Exercise of the will.
Here I was, with all these many things to do, releasing an album, shooting videos, editing videos, running after Tintin and his beards, checking on family, being with family, caring for Frankie, living with Frankie, loving Le Boo **or at least trying my best at it**, in touch with #Alordians, and doing everything else but Her.
So creating a challenge like this had to help didn't it?
I think it did though cause there was a new lease right after I was through with my self imposed challenge. I began to almost do everything and everything after that.

Do you understand what I am saying to you?

"Sometimes life spins you around and around so many times till your head is literally dripping dizzy you almost begin to lose balance with yourself.."

There's a spark in the dark
No not from NEPA but from a message on my phone
The screen lights up in vibrant colors
If it could have had scent it would smell like flowers
Aren't all flowers named after scents? Jasmine, Rose, Lavender.
Or did scents exist before flowers?
If we were to go by Biblical records chronologically
Wouldn't we say God made the plants and flowers on the third day
In which case then all scents would be said to be named after flowers
and not the other way as I was earlier quick to buttress
"I love you" is all the text that was sent in the message.
Le Boo on a mission...

A tiny little being I was as a child
Frail and skinny but my mind was wild
I played with the boys
I even shared their toys
For barbies and teddy bears were a sight I couldn't bare
I never was a girly girl
And I didn't care for curly hair
One time I remember
I stood up on a raised concrete
it was a cold day in November
"Hey Look!" I yelled out to my brother
"I am going to pee like a boy!" my hands raised as if in surrender
I let my pants fall to the floor
My baby pink urinaries everyone saw
And there I was
Standing up straight waiting for the leak
But just as it began to rain out of me I felt the coldest wind against my cheek
It was but a swift swishy swooshing of air for the next thing I felt
Was my face in the dirt
Lo! I had been pushed off the concrete by my Brother
My face, hands and legs down in urine and water
"You are a girl! Pee like a girl!" He yelled out to me and everyone else in range to hear
Now I do not intend to convey to you that I wanted to be a boy
For never has the thought crossed my mind
All I ever wanted to do was play in the fields the boys played
It was for me a fiercer competition than the girls displayed
If it was tough, It was for me.
I am tough.
Life itself has been tougher than I and my smooth girly sides have been roughened by it

This amazing shoot captured by visual genius @emmanueloyeleke 📷📷

1 comment:

  1. My love for you tho... Damn, I would give anything to meet you. I literally stalk you on social media. You know how you relate and connect with a person's persona and you begin to question the root of the feeling.... I don't know if it's the music, or how pretty you are, or the way you paint and write, or a combination of all these.. Shiii, you proly won't see this, but I love you. That fantasy world of mine where you reside is asking me to drop my number, crazy right? But fuck it, nothing to lose either way.. Richmond, 08166765044, 08181384700.


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