7 Life Lessons I have learned from my Mom and 4 things I'd Love to do like her

by - 7/04/2015

Today is my Mom's Birthday!!!! And as I sit here to type this, I am thinking deeply about what it means to be a Mother and how sometimes we overlook or do not appreciate sincerely what a Mother's love is. One time in my life I believed I wanted to be a Mother at 21. For me the thought of being young and starting kids early was all that mattered to me. But as I have grown older I have realized how very unready I have been all this time to take on the role. It is a lot that goes into parenting and being the mother of a child let alone 5 like my Mother is.
I have a dog, Frankie, whom right now I am so upset with myself for not doing as much with training him and starting very early. Now I am faced with an overbearing Alsatian who is running into adulthood and at the same time running around my house like an overly excited man on heat.
Sometimes I console myself and tell myself that Frankie is definitely no yardstick for measuring how well I'd do with a child, for the most part I am super great with kids, and kids are humans, and you cannot compare humans with dogs, and the psychology of a child is different from that of a dog,  and all that bla bla.
So here I am on this day July 4th, thinking of my darling mother as she celebrates another year and I am saying to myself, I gotta write and share with you 7things I have learned from my Mom and 4things I'd Love to do like her as she Celebrates on July 4!

7 Life lessons I have learned from my Mother
● Giving has nothing to do with How much you have:
Ever since I was little, it has been a constant occurrence to watch my Mom give. She was always first to send out the basket of Christmas rice and chicken to the neighbours, always attends a party with her gifts, always gives an extra tip for service done and if all else fails, she'd cook you a nice meal.
It was striking to note that regardless of the fact that we didn't have it all, she constantly decided we had enough for her to give.
The other day as we drove down our street circling a curve that led home, my Mom suddenly stopped the car, popped the trunk and passed a bag of rice to our neighbor who had just suffered a loss.
I sat there in the passenger seat and wondered what sort of angel I had been blessed with for a mother.
It is no surprise that there is always enough food in my parents house. Givers never lack.

● It is a blessing to cook for People:
I really would like to believe that in another life my Mom might be a Restauranter, and a very successful one at that. That is if she isn't already considering the option in this current life. Without a doubt my Mom is a great cook, but it isn't just the ability to cook so well that is striking with this Delta woman, it is the grace she exudes when she cooks that is attractive.
She is even much more happier when there are more than 2 people to cook for, the more the merrier.
When we have parties or family celebrations, she is out there with her beautiful sisters blowing away at the firewood with hand fans and newspapers, cutting up vegetables to feed a nation and chatting happily.
When everyone digs in on the dish, you can see the joy in their faces. It isn't just because the food tasted great, it is also because my Mom transfered that joy into the cooking. Delta women are so good at this. She must have learned it from my Grandmother. I on the other hand have learned it from her. I'm telling you!

● Prayer works

With my Mother, the solution to every problem begins with prayer. And when there is no problem then even more prayer should be offered.
As a family she ensures we pray together at night before bed, everyone in the room, singing praises and praying. Without a doubt this has been a major factor in all the blessings we have enjoyed, in the love that we have which is continually growing even as we grow older, and in the successes that we have.
She takes this attitude with her everywhere, visiting friends and praying with them, praying with a mother who has just had a baby, praying with a couple going through the motions, praying for us when we are in sight and out of sight, Just constantly praying.
Without the fervent prayers of my mother, I have no idea where I'd be.

● If you are not going to do it, I'd do it myself:
Independent as F! That woman. I don't know if it is because she was born July4th, America's Independence or if it is because she was born in the year "1960" Nigeria's Independence, but she takes being independent to a whole other level!
'If you are not going to do it,I'd do it myself' you can hear her say to me after she has asked me to do something I may not have gotten up to go do.
And to prove her point, she would get down to begin doing it before I have even had a chance to kick my rebellious reluctance to the side.

● Having multiple jobs is the way to go
Nursing and caring for people has been my Mother's passion for well over 20 years! And she has seen to it that she is successful at it. However she has other passions in fashion, business and God and she follows them fearlessly.

● You always have the time and energy to do everything you have to do:
It doesn't matter whether she has just got home from work and there was traffic through the entire drive home and her feet were weak and sore from driving, and the rain had poured down heavily and sleep was all her heart wanted, my Mom would go straight to the house duties that awaited her arrival. And then after that head into her sewing room to pedal away at her sewing machine to complete an outfit she had cut up earlier. Then she would wake up the next morning at 5AM to work this entire process again. What kind of a woman are you this woman??

● Everyone is Equal

With my mother there is no such thing as segregation. No matter who it was she treated all equally. When we lived in Bida Niger state, we had farms and a lot of young Nupe men who worked for my her on the farms. Those were the days! Life was just a beautiful canvas for growing food. We planted maize, and beans, and millet and a lot of vegetables.
When farm work was over, instead of sending the boys to their homes, she'd invite them over to our house, cook for them and offer them water. And when their food and water was served, it was served in the same plates and cups that everyone else in the house used.
There was no cup for the poor people and one for the rich. There was no plate for the family and one for the strangers. There was no chair for us and one for them. Everyone got the same heart warming hospitality and a smile to go with it.

4 Things I'd Love to do Like my Mother
● Give of myself in service to others gracefully
Always ready to help, always ready to give, always there and doing it with a big smile on her beautiful face, my Mom offers herself to others willingly. I do not know if it is the nursing gene or if it is the Angel in her, might be both. I want to do just that too!

● Grow my own Vegetables
Everywhere we have lived my Mom always has her little bed of greens somewhere in the compound. The farming spirit from Bida never completely left her you see. With that we always had greens ready to be cut fresh and cooked when we needed them.
Imagine the joy of growing your own vegetables!

● Raise smart successful kids
My sister is a successful business woman running her own catering company. My elder brother is one of the most sort after Web developers in Nigeria with madam Alakija sitting pretty on his clientelle list. I am what I am. Hehe. My younger brother is a computer networking geek running his fingers in fiber optics and space. The youngest is an instrumentalist, playing every musical instrument he can lay his hands on and is now a fantastic music Producer at only 17.
Sometimes I wonder how my Mom feels having that and when I think about it, I know for a fact I gotta have kids like us.

● Work back-breakingly hard
Oh the work she puts in! I am constantly ashamed of myself when I realize I haven't even begun to work half as hard as my Mom. She has been my inspiration always and even more so now as I quiver and shake through the hurdles of life.
I have seen what hard work produces from watching her and everyday I pray the Lord grants me the grace to go over and beyond like she does.

Happy Birthday Momma!! I love you baby boo. Thank you for being the best Mother anyone could ever ask for and may the spirit of the Lord always be with you!
Oh did I tell you? My mom birthed me herself in the car as she and my dad journeyed through Abuja. The woman just sat there in the passenger seat and pulled me out with her hands. Madam "I'd do it myself". There's no stopping her ever! LOL

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10 comments

  1. Ahhhhh bida Niger state, I sch in fut minna...where ur house for bida make I go rent am...... Nice mehn, I really like that every one is equal and yes prayer does work. God bless u eva

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    1. OOOOhhh yes it does! God bless you too honey

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  2. Damn shuga is the bomb Eva, I really love your music, charisma, energy, craze, blog and everything else about you, I believe I have a crush on u... Lol... Well meeting you in person would be the happiest day of my entire life... Peace

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    1. Thank you again! I would love to meet you too! Come to one of my shows honey. Would be my pleasure to perform to you

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  3. Am sure your biggest fan and even till date I still listen to HIGH, LIGHTS OUT, THESE BITCHES (COVER), and so on and so forth... I will never stop loving your music and personality... I also rap and sing, my stage name is Aces.. and I look up to you as my number 1 feminine mentor... And I would be greatful if u could listen to my music,https://m.audiomack.com/song/aces-2/your-love

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    1. Thank you honey. It is a really sweet thing to have you appreciate my music in the way you do and I can read the passion in your words when you talk about yourself as an artiste. I would like to listen to your music and I wish you all the best.

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  4. May God bless all the good mothers of the world and keep blessings for upcoming moms too!
    Eva, it's the way you put thought in words that never ceases to amaze me...
    Please don't stop; you are my motivation.
    God keep you. All the best.
    @TizWiz0

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    1. Thank you honey! A comment like yours motivates me! I really appreciate you reading and if I have to write to just you, I will!

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  5. Hey! I've been a very quiet follower of yours but when I listen to your songs and hear the way you play around with words... still searching for the words to express that feeling. I'm touched by your humility and how fit you look. Your sense of confidence blows me away, haven't been able to wrap my head around how you seem to come up with the courage. I love writing too but your dexterity, I'm still to come close to. God bless the work of thy hand and I look forward to meet you one day... not just watch you at a show, I mean like sit down and chat and laugh.

    ... An afin igbo boy that admires your work

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