The HARD Truth About Finding Your PASSION

For me, and in my Honest opinion inspired by Life experience, Your Passion is Two steps away:

1. Decide what your gifts are
2. Express your Gifts

Every other day I get mails and DMs from my readers and followers and most times they are messages, written and sent out from a deep place of longing, of yearning, often laced with the foreboding air of confusion.
Many People are LOST, searching, needing, unsure where life is taking them. Its like groping in the dark looking for the light switch, you know there is a bulb and all you have to do is turn on the switch to light it up, but you are there, groping around in the darkness.

The mistake people make is thinking or believing that passion is something you are born with. A steady fire that never burns out.
While this may be true to a very little extent, I do believe that like any fire, if you do not keep feeding the fire, fanning it, putting in more wood, more oil, the fire would burn and then burn out.
Passion? This is your fire for the things you do. The fire that burns in your heart and keeps you able to do this thing to such degree that a lot of people unlike you cannot do.
And my life experience has shown me that we can lose passion too.

Losing passion for a thing you know in your heart you love to do can be so draining, so unfair, so wrong. You cannot understand why all of a sudden you don't even feel like writing when writing is all you really remember you love to do. Why you do not care about designing anymore like you used to. Or cooking. Or selling cars. Or developing software. Or making films. Or just about anything at all.
When I became depressed a long while ago, I found myself completely unsure of who I was, what I wanted, what I cared about, or heck where I was going with my life. Some days I woke up and life was just a blur. This one thing I learned about depression really put me in check.

Even though I was depressed at the time and had lost my passion for music, for writing or just about anything at all, I still found myself able to do a couple of things. Mostly reading and working out. Reading during my depression really helped a ton. On those days when I felt like a bum and just wanted to stay home, lock the doors and lay in bed crying, I was still able to run away into the distant lands and unknown time spaces that a book afforded. I read a lot. I was determined to do anything at all even though the depression had stopped me from doing the things I really loved
So I read.
And read.

A long time after the depression faded, I still was unable to come to terms with music which I knew in my heart I loved so much. I had done it for a really long time and it was really all I was good at.
Doing Makeup is only a pretend getaway, it isn't the real food for my soul. Everyday that I spent, in which I didn't write a rap or create a new song, I felt like my life was wasting away. I was having incomplete days after incomplete days.
I guess to some degree, I figured that I would just wake up one day and have a renewed passion for my music again. I mean, I woke up one morning and it was gone right? So surely, it would all come running back to me no?

But I was wrong.
As the days became weeks and the weeks became months of me not expressing the music side of me to the fullest through dedicated practice and loving expression, I found that more and more I lost it.


Then one day it hit me! I had to create and find my passion for my music all over again. By myself. Passion wasn't going to come to me, I had to go to it.
But how?

I didn't feel like writing.
I hadn't watched TV in a long time and I scarcely cared about what artistes were up to at the time.
I was deaf to the radio and what else was going on.
So how did I find passion for my music again?
I had to make a decision that Rap and Performing was something I knew how to do. It was one of my gifts. And for someone with many gifts, choosing one as the major key gift to focus on was hard.
Of all the things I know how to do, all things being equal and provided for, what would lil Eva do?
Performing music around the world and inspiring People with my music.
This was my gift.
Settled.

Next, I had to decide to begin to express my gift of music.

And I found that I didn't like how I had been doing it in the past, or my subject matter, or what kind of music I had been making.

I think my depression taught me to think deeply and to think from a whole new place. I found myself wanting more, needing more out of it. It was an opportunity for me to rediscover my purpose.
And so in expressing my gift, I had to ask myself:
  1. Who am I doing this for?
  2. What do I want to give to them
  3. Why am I doing this?
  4. How far am I willing to take it?


As I considered these things, I found myself aligning to a whole new sense of purpose.
And as soon as I began to express myself from this new found awareness of my being, I felt my passion for music growing stronger and stronger again.
It is not as great as it used to be just yet, I do have several months of genuinely practicing with love and reaffirming my passion by my consistent action and I was willing to put myself through that.
  
Passion cannot come to you. You have to consistently work yourself into it.

You may have a talent to put words together and people call you a writer for that and still not feel as though you have a passion for writing.
To build this passion up would take you day after day of writing and writing and one day you'd hear yourself say things like "Writing is my passion". "I have a passion for writing".

Usually when we hear these sorts of declaration from other successful people, we fail to see how far they have come to get to this state of conviction and we may even falsely believe that it should be so for us. We are just supposed to have this passion like everyone else.

But its not cut that easy.

2 comments:

  1. Nice piece.


    (It's Cirphrank dead beautiful Eva, I don show face!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've sort of always felt a passion is something that's always there, but you need to work on it so that you become good enough at it for what you love to be what you're good at, but this seems more logical now. Sticking it out when you don't particularly enjoy it anymore (which happens sometimes) grows the passion and the growth of passion will lead to more practice and you get better at it.
    Oh! Eva, you're so wise

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