I AM NOT who I Say I Am, I AM A FRAUD


7:33

Its 7:33AM and today is Thursday the 10th of August 2017.
I'm sitting propped up in bed, a pillow between my back and the head board and thanks to the deafening silence of the early day in my ever so quiet neighborhood, I feel like I can hear myself enough to write.
I can hear the birds beyond my windows.
And in my head, a dark, unending tunnel of nothingness, save for the voice of my low speaking muse.
She says to call her Elsa.
That's a change of name, I always called her Frannie.
I am happy to be writing this morning, yes indeed and thanks to the gentle tapping reminder that came by way of a comment on my Instagram from NANYIL who is one of my fervent readers.


"I miss your writing.." Was what she sent and I read it in my head as "Why haven't you been writing you inconsistent blob?"
And now when I took a look at my writing app to see how I have done, I was more than dismayed to find not a single entry for the month of August.
And today is the 10th day!




I have always claimed myself to be a writer. But I lie. I am hardly a writer. I am just one who plays with words and scribbles them on the page when I discover time on my hands or happen upon an instance of inspiration. I am a hobbyist type. Not a pro.
This is me making an attempt to come face to face with the truth.
I am only actually a Writer if I write everyday.
'Do I want to write everyday' is indeed a far better question to ask thank 'Do I want to be a Writer'.
Cause you see it is easy to say what you want to be, forgetting that what you want to be is highly proportional to what you have got to be doing Everyday, Everyweek, the year through.
I know for a fact that I was born to write. It was the first thing I remember being focused on as a child.
But I have got to grow up and be a disciplined person about it should I ever want to live and experience the years when others would taste the fruits of my writing passion and call it sweet.
I am writing now, and time is passing by ever so gently but swiftly (now its 7:43) and I can say for a fact that I enjoyed writing this.

I feel a release and satisfaction that can only happen because I said I'd write, sat down to write and I have now written for 11MINUTES.
Thanks to a fan, a reader, who got so tired of waiting to read from me and demanded I give to her what I came to give.

Dear NANYIL, thank you, for helping me write today. I give you my word, I'd write for 11Minutes like this everyday for 11Days for you, so let us revisit this issue on the 21st day of August, when I'd have written for 11 MINUTES everyday for 11 DAYS.

I feel at peace. This is where I want to be. This is what I want to do. 7:47AM. End

2 comments:

  1. Thank you for reading!! I hope this post helped you in some way. It is always great to read back from you dear Reader, please leave comments below and I'd reply you!! Love, E

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  2. "Cause you see it is easy to say what you want to be, forgetting that what you want to be is highly proportional to what you have got to be doing Everyday, Everyweek, the year through." This statement here is just it!

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